


and swallow them too

by growlery writes (growlery)



Category: Friends at the Table (Podcast)
Genre: Amnesia, Gen, sad about my girl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-12
Updated: 2018-07-12
Packaged: 2019-06-09 12:45:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15267780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/growlery/pseuds/growlery%20writes
Summary: The whole diplomacy thing isn't really Jill, honestly. She's not sure what is Jill, but her body knows how to be a soldier, and soldiers don't negotiate, or schmooze, or try to sway opinion. But soldiers follow orders, and so Jill had taken the ship Hudson had given her and gone to the goddamn planet.





	and swallow them too

Jillian has strange dreams about the war. They don't make any sense, especially the parts that correspond with publicly available information. Jillian doesn't remember the war. Jillian doesn't remember anything. It makes no sense that part of it lives in her subconscious like another life she didn't lead. 

Or maybe did, who fucking knows, but Jillian doesn't think she's old enough to be one of the people she sees in her dreams. Besides, she knows what memories are, when they're so thin on the ground. The dreams don't feel like memories, or at least… not hers. It's been a few months since she was fished out of a Horizon Tactical Solutions research base with nothing to identify her but a name tag, and she has no idea how she ended up there, but from what she now knows, she wouldn't put memory transplantation past them.

When she wakes, she expects to find herself on the Kingdom Come - plausible; it was a flagship of the final attack on Apostolos - and feels adrift when she remembers she's on her own ship, just another one of the Odamas Fleet. She rubs her eyes. The dim lighting of the cockpit doesn't get any less dim, but her eyes adjust to it, slowly. If she squints just so she can see the Kingdom Come overlaid on top of her ship. Part of her wants to keep hold of it, the part of her that wants the confidence and certainty of Commander Tea Kenridge, the person she inhabits in her dreams.

She blinks, hard, and flicks on the lights. The nav system shows they're about a half hour from base, and Jill leans back in her chair, pulls up her messages. She's reading the community newsletter, frowning at an op-ed she was drawn to because of Augustus’s name on the byline, when she gets pinged. She accepts, and the inky blackness of space is quickly replaced by Diego’s smirk. 

“Status report, little Red?”

Jill ignores the nickname. “Can't this wait til I'm on the ground?”

“It could,” Diego says, showing her his teeth. “But I wanted to check in before you met with Hudson, make sure everything went smoothly. Diplomatic missions are tough; not everyone's cut out for it.”

“Oh,” she says, slowly returning the smile. “I didn't realise you weren't invited.”

Diego’s cool facade wavers for just a second. She's not petty enough to think of this as a triumph, but Diego’s been needling her since Hudson first brought up this mission, and she can't not enjoy being able to cut just as sharp. 

The whole diplomacy thing isn't really Jill, honestly. She's not sure what is Jill, but her body knows how to be a soldier, and soldiers don't negotiate, or schmooze, or try to curry favour. But soldiers follow orders, and so Jill had taken the ship Hudson had given her and gone to the goddamn planet. 

She doesn't know why Diego was so fucked up about it. He still looks at her like he isn't sure he should trust her, even though she's been part of the fleet for months now, and she doesn't remember loyalty to anyone else. No one’s come looking for her; the fleet is all she has. 

Something makes her think it's not a trust thing, though. The Odamas Fleet are like family, that's the line, but just like a real family, they're dysfunctional as fuck. 

Whatever. It's not like she can just ask him what his problem is. 

“It all went fine,” she adds, “thanks. You'll hear the rest from Hudson after the debriefing, I'm sure.”

She doesn't wait for Diego’s response.


End file.
